The Time Hermes Sold Olympus
One fine morning, Hermes, god of mischief and highly questionable business ventures, decided he was bored. And when Hermes was bored, mortals usually suffered.
Draping himself in an impeccably tailored suit (borrowed—without permission—from Apollo), he strolled into a high-profile international summit, where the world’s most powerful leaders had gathered. There, he found exactly what he needed: a greedy president and his circle of self-serving politicians, always eager for new ways to increase their wealth and control.
"Ladies and gentlemen," Hermes announced with a charming smirk, "I present to you an unprecedented investment opportunity—the chance to own Mount Olympus itself!"
The room fell silent. "Olympus? You mean—the Olympus?"
"AND WHO ARE YOU?" the president asked.
"HERMES"
The president leaned back in his leather chair, steepling his fingers as he eyed the man across from him—the one who called himself Hermes.
"Alright, hotshot," he said, skepticism dripping from his voice. "You want us to believe you’re Hermes? The actual Greek god?"
The cabinet members nodded, arms crossed, waiting for proof.
Hermes sighed dramatically. "You mortals and your trust issues. Fine."
In a blink, he disappeared from his chair.
The room gasped. Someone cursed. A senator clutched his chest.
Suddenly, Hermes reappeared—feet casually propped up on the president’s desk, twirling a golden pen that definitely hadn’t been there before.
"By the way," Hermes said, inspecting his nails, "Your personal safe? The one with all the classified documents? Might wanna check it."
The president’s face paled. He rushed to his desk, yanked open the hidden compartment—empty.
"Looking for this?" Hermes grinned, holding up a stack of top-secret files. "Don't worry, I put them back… mostly."
Silence.
Then the defense secretary cleared his throat. "So, uh… about that Olympus deal?"
"Indeed!" Hermes grinned. "Zeus, in his infinite wisdom, has decided to privatize divine real estate. Imagine the possibilities! Luxury ambrosia resorts! High-end cloudside mansions! And best of all—direct access to divine power!"
The Power Play
The politicians exchanged glances. Some saw it as a way to secure power beyond their mortal limits—to become immortal lawmakers with gods in their pockets. Others plotted how to monetize Olympus, turning it into an elite, invitation-only paradise for the ultra-rich.
"This is it," the president whispered. "A way to rule beyond time itself. No more elections, no more opposition—just eternal reign."
"Imagine the taxes we could impose on prayer!" one senator added excitedly.
Hermes, barely containing his laughter, named an absurd price. Without hesitation, the president and his cabinet funneled millions into the "deal" and wired the payment straight into Hermes’ (mysteriously untraceable) account.
"Excellent!" Hermes declared, sipping his imported ambrosia. "Just take your private jets to Olympus and tell the gatekeeper you’re the new owners."
The Fall of the Greedy
Hours later, the political entourage landed their helicopters near the peak of Mount Olympus, stepping out in their finest suits, sunglasses glinting in the divine light.
At the golden gates, they were met by Ares, who had just woken up from a terrible mood.
"We're here to claim ownership of Olympus," the president announced confidently, flashing the forged divine contract Hermes had given them.
Ares blinked. Then, after a pause, he howled with laughter before hurling their private jets back down the mountain with one hand.
Bruised, humiliated, and robbed of their wealth, the politicians found themselves stripped of all credibility. Their greed had blinded them, and in their hunger for ultimate power, they had neglected the people they were supposed to serve.
The Political Fallout
Back on Earth, the scandal erupted like a divine thunderstorm. News stations tore them apart. Voters abandoned them. Social media exploded with memes of their Olympian downfall.
"BREAKING NEWS: PRESIDENT SCAMMED BY GOD OF TRICKERY."
"EXCLUSIVE: THE MOST EXPENSIVE FRAUD IN HISTORY—AND IT WASN’T EVEN EARTHLY."
"MEMES OF THE WEEK: WHEN YOU TRY TO PRIVATIZE HEAVEN BUT GET YEETED INSTEAD."
As their approval ratings plummeted faster than their jets, former allies distanced themselves, corporations pulled funding, and within days, they were forced to resign in disgrace.
Greed makes fools of even the most powerful mortals.
The Eternal Chase
Meanwhile, in a luxury penthouse overlooking Manhattan, Hermes kicked back with a cocktail, watching the chaos unfold on live TV. He was ten million dollars richer, and the president was trending on Twitter under #ScammedByTheGods.
Just as he was about to toast to his success, a thunderous roar shook the sky.
"HERMES!"
Zeus had found out.
And thus began the Great Chase of Olympus, where the god of trickery spent three whole months dodging divine subpoenas, changing identities, and crashing in random Airbnbs until Zeus finally got distracted by something else.
Those who seek power over others will find themselves powerless when they fall.
Mythika 1 - Ambrosia & Gossip
From Zeus’s babysitting disasters to Poseidon’s divine fitness journey, from Aphrodite failing to flirt to Hades running a true crime podcast, these micro myths bring the legends of old into the absurdity of today.
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