Zeus, the Reluctant Babysitter
It began, as most of Zeus’s problems did, with Hera’s unamused glare.
“You’re watching him today,” she declared, shoving a small, curly-haired toddler into his arms before disappearing in a swirl of peacock feathers.
Zeus blinked. The child blinked back.
Now, Zeus had faced Titans, monsters, and vengeful in-laws, but nothing filled him with pure terror quite like the chubby little menace now grabbing his beard.
"Uh... okay, kid," Zeus said, peeling tiny fingers from his face. "What do babies do? Want a thunderbolt? A war? Ambrosia?"
The toddler, uninterested in godly matters, promptly bit his arm.
"By the Styx!" Zeus yelped, shaking his wrist. "Hera! Come back! He’s defective!"
But Hera was gone. He was alone.
Babysitting is harder than ruling the cosmos.
The King of the Gods vs. a Toddler
For the next twelve agonizing hours, Zeus endured the most brutal trial of his immortal life:
⚡ He summoned Pegasus for a divine joyride—only for the child to cry because "horsies are scary."
⚡ He conjured a golden palace of clouds—only for the kid to punch straight through it.
⚡ He offered the boy his throne—only to have his own lightning bolt hurled at his head.
"WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS?" Zeus wailed, covered in drool, dirt, and defeat.
In a moment of desperation, he had a genius idea.
The Thigh Experiment
Zeus glanced down at his leg.
It had worked before—Dionysus had turned out fine, right? If he just tucked the child away in his thigh, he could have some peace and quiet.
"Alright, kid," Zeus muttered, reaching for his divine dagger. "Just a quick little—"
Before he could make the first cut, the toddler screamed with the force of a thousand hurricanes. The skies darkened, the earth trembled, and Zeus swore he saw the Fates laughing in the distance.
"Okay, okay! No thigh pocket!" Zeus panicked, dropping the dagger. "It was just an idea!"
The child sniffled, then promptly kicked him in the stomach.
You cannot store children in your thigh. We repeat: DO NOT store children in your thigh.
The Swallowing Plan
Minutes later, still reeling from the kick, Zeus rubbed his temples.
"Alright," he mumbled. "If thigh storage won’t work… maybe Athena’s method?"
It was flawless logic. He had swallowed Metis to prevent a prophecy, and Athena had come out brilliant, powerful, and fully grown. If he swallowed this child—just for a little while—he could at least contain the chaos.
"Open wide, here comes Olympus Air," Zeus muttered, grabbing the toddler.
The child cackled.
Then, with inhuman strength, he zapped Zeus in the tongue.
The King of the Gods yelped and dropped him. The child landed gracefully—on his head.
Zeus groaned, smoke curling from his lips. “Okay. I deserved that.”
Swallowing them won’t make them smarter—it will just get you electrocuted.
The Realization
Finally, at the brink of madness, Zeus rocked the child in his arms and muttered, “Alright, kid. You win. You’re tougher than the Titans.”
And, for the first time that day, the boy smiled—a familiar, mischievous smile.
Zeus froze.
That smirk. Those curls. That chaotic energy.
"Oh no," he whispered. "You're... me."
The Fates had tricked him. This wasn't just any child—it was himself, sent from the past.
And suddenly, Zeus understood.
He hadn’t been a mighty god since birth. He had been a nightmare. A feral, impossible, lightning-wielding gremlin.
He looked up at the heavens. "HERA, I OWE YOU AN APOLOGY."
From the distance, Hera’s laughter echoed through Olympus.
If you were a nightmare as a kid, the universe will find a way to make you pay for it.
Mythika 1 - Ambrosia & Gossip
Because myths never die… they just get updated. 👉 Perfect for fans of mythology, humor, and bite-sized storytelling.
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